Difficult Weekend, and Long Week Ahead...

My last post was about the spotting and cramping that had begun on Friday March 4th.  Unfortunately, it continued off and on through the weekend.  It would be scant and brown, then heavier (but still only when I wiped) and a brownish-red color.  Then it would stop for a few hours.  And then, as we would be excited that it was finally over, it would start back again.  My OB was on call, but the switchboard put me through to L&D, and those ladies just didn't seem at all interested in my concerns.  I was actually told

"You're really early and are probably miscarrying.  Take it easy this weekend and follow up with your doctor on Monday."

Now, I know I'm very early in my pregnancy... but it's still MY pregnancy!  It's still my baby.  I'm still spotting and cramping.  And I'd still like to talk to my OB.  Well, apparently they aren't concerned about your pregnancy until you are over 20 weeks along.  Me and my baby didn't matter.  So we waited until Monday.
Monday morning I went into work.  I told my charge nurse about what had been going on, and yet again, my co-workers were very supportive and encouraging.  At 8 AM, I called the OB office and was told to come right in.  I called my husband, and he too left work and met me there. 

As I waited in the lobby, a good friend and previous co-worker of mine came out.  She is due in May, and our due dates (before my miscarriage in Sept/Oct 2010) were one week apart.  I love her, she's absolutely sweet, but it broke my heart into a million pieces to see her beautiful pregnant belly.  Especially when I might be miscarrying yet again.  She of course was SO sweet.  She gave me a huge hug and promised prayers. 

My husband tried to make me feel better.  Apparently, when telling his co-worker why we were headed back to the OB, his co-worker told him that this very thing happened to his wife.  Apparently just after getting their BFP, his wife began to bleed off and on.  This went on through the pregnancy according to the co-worker, and now their son is a toddler.  I was also reminded by my sister that our cousin's wife was told at her ED that she was miscarrying, but she in fact wasn't.  Their son is also a toddler. 

Finally, I got called back and was sent to the lab to have quant levels drawn.  Like last Thursday, I was told it would be 2 hours before results were back.  I then had to sign in for ultrasound.  The lady I love doing my ultrasounds wasn't there.  The other girl is okay, she just doesn't show me what she's looking at and she don't really even talk.  Regardless, I assumed the position on the ultrasound table.  I asked her if she would be able to tell me if my cervix was closed.  She said that it was and that she didn't see any fluid in the uterus, which I understand are good things.  She did say that I'm too early on to even see a sac, so she took a bunch of measurements and then sent me to the second waiting room. 

It never takes too long, and the nurses put me in a room.  As usual, they were very sweet, giving me hugs and wishing me luck.  The nurse who was to take care of me today even told me that she too spotted during her first pregnancy and her son is now 30 years old.  I know they were trying to make me relax, but I just couldn't stand it.  Dr B came in and did his exam.  He confirmed that my cervix was closed, but apparently it was during my last miscarriage.  He said

"Of the women who have bleeding during pregnancy, 50 % will miscarry, and the other 50% will go on to deliver healthy babies."

He said that until we get the quant levels back, he won't really know much.  He put me back on Prometrium, which is progesterone.  It's meant to help increase my progesterone levels and help sustain pregnancy.  Dr B said that if my quant levels have risen since last Thursday, he wants to see me back on Friday to check them again.  In the meantime, I'm to take 200 mg Prometrium twice a day... and pray, pray, pray.

My husband and I went back to work.  While I was at lunch, around noon, the OB office called me.  My quant level last Thursday was 35.5 and my draw today (Monday March 7) was 68.6.  It seemed the numbers were what my OB wanted to see, and he said that as of right now, I am still pregnant.  I asked the nurse "If I actually miscarried sometime Sunday or Monday morning, would we be able to tell by todays quant levels?"  The nurse said "Not really until we recheck the quant levels on Friday."  So here I wait again. 

I know I should be excited that my quant levels have gone up and look good right now.  And I am.  But I'm also worried about what the quant levels will say on Friday.  What if I get my hopes up and then the numbers are down on Friday?  What if they were actually higher than 68.6 and have been coming down?  I mean... doubled would be 71, and from what I've read, they should double every 48-72 hours.  It's been 91 hours since my previous blood draw.

I still had Prometrium left from when I miscarried before, so I took one as soon as I reached the OB parking lot.  Amazingly, my cramping went away and the bleeding actually really slowed.  What I mean is that when I wiped, I only saw scant amounts of brown.  I was feeling like the Prometrium was working and everything would be okay.  Then, I woke this morning (Tuesday march 8) to some brownish-red when I wiped.  All morning so far (and it's 11:28 AM right now) I've had brownish-red to red when I wipe.  It's not scant like yesterday, but it's not dripping from me like a period... yet.  Oh, and let me just add that I've still been feeling nauseated off and on and my breasts are very tender... but can this also be caused by the hormones???  It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm still pregnant, right?

I feel like I'm going to go crazy before Friday.  I keep trying to hang on to the few stories I've heard of successful births after early bleeding.  My husband and I are praying every time we turn around.  I know I'm suppose to pray that God's will be done, but that's so hard.  We want this so bad, how could God's will not be to let us have our baby???

Information about 1st Trimester Bleeding (taken from University of Maryland Medical Center):

First-trimester bleeding isn’t always a problem. It may be caused by:

• Implantation of the fertilized egg in the uterus.
• Hormonal changes.
• Undetermined factors that cause no harm to the mother or baby.

More serious causes of first-trimester bleeding may include:

• Miscarriage. Almost all women who miscarry will have vaginal bleeding prior to the loss of the pregnancy.
• Ectopic pregnancy. When the fertilized egg develops outside of the uterus, usually in the fallopian tube, it may cause cramping and bleeding.
• Molar pregnancy. Also known as a hydatidiform mole or trophoblastic disease, molar pregnancy is a condition in which the pregnancy does not form properly.